There's no crying in the kitchen...

well except when onions are involved. Today was just one of those days for me, you know the kind of day where if someone blinks at you wrong you might just burst into tears or punch them in the nose; I never really know which one will happen when I'm going through one of those days.

To be fair I should start at the beginning of my day, when I woke up. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought something looked funny (or funnier) than usual. Upon closer examination I noticed that my right eye was swollen(I think it was my right eye, but I'm really bad with lefts and rights and they say that whole thing is flipped in a mirror which really still baffles the whole which side process.), so I went and told my mom. She told me to put cold compresses on it and left for church with my sister. I knew I had to go to work, so I started getting myself ready, putting my mascara and eyeliner on only half of my face, because it just seemed like the right thing to do when the other eye was aggravated(two face eat your heart out).

My swelling went down and Visine fixed the fact that my eye looked blood shot. My mom decided before she left that it was allergies, which didn't really explain the splitting headache behind my eye, but it was time for work so that was the end of thinking about that.

Of course days that start with swollen eyes hardly ever continue at a good pace. Work just felt fuzzy to me. I began to think that the consequences of taking the allergy pill might have been worth the risk. At the end of the night I was feeling very ready to go home and I saw that the banquet chef had a pile of onions on his table. I knew I wasn't done till he was so I asked him what he wanted done with the onions and started dicing them. Within seconds tears were streaming down my face. Crying normally makes me feel better; it sends all of the feelings right out of your head. Crying because of onions never makes me feel better, in fact it's rather unsatisfactory.

As I was crying(or pretend crying, because onion crying can't be counted as real crying...it's more like natural eye washing) I began wondering why onions make you cry. I've heard all of the explanations about the chemicals in an onion, blah blah blah, but really does anyone other than me think it's silly that cutting an onion sends tears streaming down your face?

I don't really know of anyone who enjoys onion tears. Everyone I have ever met has a new way to keep from crying when cutting onions, lighting a candle or washing the onion. I think the silliest one I ever heard was cut it under cold running water. That one didn't sound very safe to me, but to each his own I guess. I think the best method to keep from crying when cutting an onion is to just avoid onions. Of course that isn't an option when you work in the banquet side of a kitchen and most things involve the need for onions. You could be like the one line cook who would cry and cry and wash her hands and then her face and then smoke and then cry some more till five years later the onions were cut or someone else just decided to cut the onions themselves because it was taking so long, but no one really liked her so that probably isn't the best of options.

I have to cut onions. Onions make me cry. I am normally against crying at work, but like I said I excuse onion tears because they're fake. I guess life is kind of like(no, Shrek, not an onion)the awful day I just had. You feel deformed, a vegetable(or person) you hate but have to deal with makes you cry, and then you go home and take an pill(allergy pill or for days without swollen eyes advil), hoping the next day is a little bit better. We all have our onions. I guess it's just a matter of turning them into hotdog toppings before they really get to you.

Happy Eating!!!

Emily